Sleepless Nights

爱不单行, 最近很喜欢的歌

2010-05-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

找不到人说心里的寂寞
找不到人都怕变得沉默
找不到命中注定在一起的人以后
很多人都笑我
一个人过生活
爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
很安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下
爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕

用不完身边泛滥的自由
还是怕孤单是一种诅咒
羡慕我能飞的人为何在天黑以后
还是宁愿回到
爱情那个枷锁
爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
很安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下
爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕
爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行相信她

Emo Emo Emo

2008-10-23T19:12:00.001+08:00

Why is it,

Whatever I do in life

I see your shadow lingers

Why is it

Whereever I go

There will be parts of you there

What am I

Am I not worthy of you?

Who am I

Have I lost myself?

I would do anything

Just to forget you

I would go anywhere

To places without you

But do I have a choice?

I'm stuck in this trench

Unable to crawl out

Unable to escape

What have I left,

Just memories of you

That lingers in my soul

Haunt me in my sleep

I don't want to think of you anymore. I really don't. Everytime when i have news about you, I feel myself not myself again. I wan to be happy. I wan to be merry, hence the name JellyBeMerry. I am naive. I can't do it. As much as I tried, I simply can't.

Granted, It's just a short period. A 4 months period. But it has taken a toll much more tougher than the one I had for 3 years. Why is that so?

I've put in too much. Silly me. I should'nt have known you in the first place. I shouldnt have stepped in that place. I never liked that kind of places, why did i choose to go. If i hadn't, none of these shyts would have happened. I blame myself. I hate myself. I just want to go away. Leave my home, my area, my country, my life. It's passive I know, something that I would not do last time. But I can't take it anymore. I wan find solace in LIFE. if I couldn't, perhaps there's only solace in DEATH.

FCK IT. THAT'S IT, JUST TAKE ME AWAY.

2008-10-18T13:03:00.007+08:00

Went to seah street, Lot Stock And Barrel Pub to celebrate our John aka Mary's 23rd birthday. It's an invitation from Ross hun to go there coz her sweetheart and his band is performing there. It's a really cosy place... and I just realise whenever I go to a new place, I never take photographs on the surrounding... =x
But it's a really cool place.. very country style.. In short, a good place to chill out. With the live band and all, it's really a place that feels cosy.
I like chill out places. It makes me fill comfortable. That's why I don't like to club. I don't like sleazy places. I just want to sit in a English style kinda pub, have a drink with my loved ones. Enjoying the nice music and all and just chatting. Wish you were there.

Gorgeous~

Swensen BlackForest Ice Cream Cake~

The band was damn nice la.. they sang birthday song for him... we had wanted to share our cake with the band, but becoz we waited for them to finish their number before we can pass it to them, the cake melted abit... muahaha so pai seh... but hey! It's the thoughts that count xD

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY JOHN!!

AND U BETTER JOIN US MORE FOR OUTING! THINK NEW YEAR AH? MEET ONCE A YEAR AH?? =X

Oh, btw... I wanna apologise to someone in Lot Stock and Barrel. Cause swensen, being swensen, buy birthday cake from them they don't give knife de... crazy.. cut with hand ah?! So i had to borrow a knife from the counter, and while washing the knife, she accidentally cut her hand. I know she wouldn't see this blog, but nevertheless, sorry~

2008-10-17T18:24:00.003+08:00

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的
白鸽甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

2008-10-16T21:13:00.003+08:00

Eventful day~ (I think)
Noon time went to PSB academy to check out on courses. Was raining.. kinda dampen my mood for a lil too. But the admission officer, after looking at my qualification etc etc, he says I stand a pretty good chance of enrolment. So I thought, o well, I'll just submit my application there and then. To save my trip of coming down again to register again which I'm going to study anyway. So people, cross your fingers n pray hard for me that I will get in the course and be a student again coming January!
Gawd.. I miss school... alot... not the school itself, but the people with me. Those were such fun times.. I'm excited... about the new student life... :D:D

Look~ New JayZ album... ^_^ It's been so long since i last bought CD.. but I just had to buy this.. The extra thingy the album gave was a deck of playing cards. Cool~~

2008-10-16T14:34:00.002+08:00

Do you like marshmellow?
Snow white outer layer,soft marshy on the outside. Sweet jams like blueberry, grape, strawberry on the inside. Or the taste of it after it's being BBQ-ed. The slight charred surface, stickier n chewier surface. A warm feeling after it's being slide down from your throat to your stomach. You like that feeling?

I used to, I used to love it. There are so many good things around it last time. Now? I took a piece of marshmellow n eat it. Instead of happy feeling, now it turns the opp. way. The sweetness isn't there no more. It's being replaced by the sour tinge on the nose. Saltish liquid formed in the eyes, waiting to become stronger and bigger so it may just fall off. It's just isn't the same anymore. Marshmellow has turned into a terror. Just like in ghostbusters where he created a mayhem. It's evil.. at least to me. I decided to throw the whole bag away. I don't want to ever see marshmellow in my life anymore.

I HATE MARSHMELLOW

2008-10-16T02:38:00.003+08:00

命里有时终需有，命里无时莫强求。

爱人，被爱，哪一个比较幸福呢? 我觉得，
爱一个不爱你的人，不幸福
不爱一个爱你的人，不幸福

我又回到了起点，没人爱，没爱人。可能这样的生活比较适合我吧。
我一直在反省，这几段失败的感情路，我做错了什么。
1) 不够贴心/细心?
2) 不够温柔?
3) 不会哄人?
4) 太霸道?
5) 太固执?
我承认，有时的我，好想好想见到你。可是，那是因为爱你所做的表现。
如果不爱你，我也懒得理你。你不了解，你不明白。算了。
好像我爱的人，都是和我不同世界的人。
好累。老天为何一直作弄我?

人太好?身边的人都这样说。
如果人好，就被作弄，就没人爱，那好吧。做坏人吧。

男人不坏，女人不爱，千古不变。
那就坏下去吧。
可是我行吗? 江山易改，本性难移。
拭目以待吧。
老天，你要玩我是吗?我陪你玩到底!
大不了，就是烂命一条给你罢了!
有何惧?!

2008-10-15T12:21:00.002+08:00

I'M WALKING WITH A SERIOUS LIMP!
Few nights ago, went clubbing.. and had a what I thought was a tiny lil cramp. So I went home and forgot all about it when I sleep thinking it will be alright when I wake up. 3 night passed, and the pain is still there. IT TURN WORSE. Seems like from a small lil cramp turns out to be muscle strain. Now I can't walk properly, after sitting down for a period of time, I can't walk immediately becoz the pain simply kills me... AHH.... Let's hope for speedy recovery... I don't wanna be in this situation when i go Phuket end of this month... sux....

2008-10-14T03:08:00.002+08:00

It's 3am.. I don't feel tired, don't feel like sleeping. Getting EMO again... GRR... Is it true when one is used to drinking, one needs to drink to sleep? I think so.. In my hand, a bottle of chardonnay, *sips* memories returns.. good ones will always be remembered, bad ones? as well, but just discard it away. It's fine, at least things went smoothly. No hard feelings. It had to end somewhere, it's destined to end somewhere.
I'm feeling sleepy, finally... Sleep time... nite peeps, Love you all.

2008-10-14T02:19:00.014+08:00

Too many photos, way too many.. and till the day i finally find a good software besides adobe photoshop, I guess I have to select pretty pretty ones with slight storyline to post. Haha! Lot's of photos taken @ Clinic Bar, reason being it's spacious.. so it's easier to take alot of photos.

I can't stress enough how RANDOM these photos are. But we had fun!!

Cushion/Bottle Fight? *Shudders*

People say picture speaks a thousand words. I fully agree! Perfect example here! After i rearranged the photos, kinda surprise me on how the pictures perfectly link with one another. HAHA! I'm gifted perhaps? Or i just have good actor/actresses :D

Hoegardden should give us commission in advertising.. =P

2008-10-14T02:02:00.008+08:00

10/10/08

Another day of drinking session. Seems like every friday, saturday and sunday it's all about drinking n drinking n more drinking.. Hey, not that I don't like it. I actually loved it. Every moment of it.

Met up with alvan earlier to have dinner because someone pang seh us.. say want go dinner then in the end caught up with work. You Know WHO YOU ARE! :D

Anyways, so we head to ajisen ramen coz I suddenly have the feeling to eat ramen. Headed down to bugis and ta da~ A very packed ramen store..

checking out the menu while taking photographs

He had the volcano ramen (which isn't spicy anyway, but highly recommended to eat in an air-conditioned enviroment if you perspire when eating spicy/hot stuff) and I had the nankotsu ramen.. nothing to shout for really. But it's just needed, some food before heading down to drink. :)

Had wanted to go Access room, but me, being me, didn't reserve a table early and what happen was, it was fully packed and we could only get tables after 2am. -_- so we decided to go clinic bar to chill out first.

Clinic bar, first time I went there is with joyce n mel.. memories... we need to do that again soon babes... when we have time. =)

So finally, the one who put aeroplane arrives @ clinic bar, and it's time for more photo sessions :D:D

2008-10-14T01:51:00.007+08:00

Photos from 08/10/08

Meet Ronnie and Priscilla~ Sorry prissy.. really bu ren de ni le... girl grow up become pretty le ma... tt's why... but it's fun having u all drinking together...

It's always good to have more friends who like to sing together.. :D more company in singing = YEAH!

Ronnie n Prissy are SIA cabin crew (so cool~) I would have wanted to join SIA too if not for my qualification and all the nasty i heard about from my ex cabin crew friends... o wellz, fly more.. bring back more presents for me k? =P

2008-10-13T13:20:00.004+08:00

ARGGH~~ i broke my record once again... 4 nights of drinking till dawn in a single week... and I'm now like super super super stoned... Didn't expect to drink alot ytd.. was only a meeting in her work place and accompany her till she finish work and after that have a nice supper and send her home n i come home have a good rest... but did it happen? noooo.... in the end we went to the usual pub we go to and dang... a friend was not in good mood and we went to clarke quay @ 3am for more, i mean MORE drinks.. so in the end, left @ 5am, and reach home @ 7.30am. I'm crazy... yet, in a small part in my heart, i feel happy.. i guess drinking loses my senses already.. haha

p/s : I'm suppose to upload photos.. like 80+ of them.. but i simply have no time for that.. damn.. i really need to take some time off and do it do it... next post.. next post shall be lots lots of photos...

p/s2 : let's just pray that tonight won't be dragged to drinking again.. cannot take it anymore.. seriously...

2008-10-12T18:37:00.003+08:00

Yea~~ New blog skin~ New cbox~
Thanks joycey darling for all the help~ now all I need is to find a better way of stitching all my photos together for easy upload :D Any software suggestions anyone?
Life has been a roller coaster ride for me this past few weeks (although i've never been up a roller coaster in my life, but u get it eh?) Lots of things happening together at the same time, alot of decisions to be made. Very,very down period which i pulled through with glasses n glasses of martell + green tea (lots of green tea)
To all my friends that has stood by me, supported me, adviced me, a toast to you. Without these people, I wouldn't be the good ol' Eugene again. I'm back! More ALIVE than ever could be!
The names, I won't list them out le.. you know who you are. In a way or another, your words helped, Thanks once again!

Virgin Entry

2008-10-08T12:23:00.003+08:00

Look! Something new in town!

Finally, sat down in front of my comp, thinking of the name for the blog for one hour.
And this baby is born! Like all babies, they look ugly when they first came out. But it's ok..
I'm still proud of it :D now people reading this, bookmark the address now! See how i shape
up this baby of mine, and take a journey with me, to groom it.